WEDDING VOWS 10 STEP GUIDE
Created by the wonderful June Copeman Celebrant
Writing your own wedding vows, is your opportunity to share a personal message with your partner and make your own promises to them on your wedding day. These usually come immediately before your legal marriage commitment – the “I do” bit in your wedding ceremony. You’re going do the more formal bit afterwards, so this allows you to have a bit of fun with your wedding vows and write something that suits you.
Don’t worry about impressing your partner or your guests. Just go with your flow and be yourself…
- Surprise or shared? Discuss with your partner to decide if you will share your vows before the wedding ceremony or if they will be a surprise on the wedding day. Sharing before hand will help reduce nerves on the day. Another option is to share 90% of your vows before hand, and save 10% as a surprise on the day! Importantly… even if your vows are secret from each other, I need to have a copy of them ! Just to check out that they are not too wildly different (saves embarrassment) and we have a copy in case stage fright takes hold ! It happened to our famous Aussie Actor Hugh Jackman” on his wedding day…..
- Identical or different? Would you like to both declare the same vows on your wedding day or each have your own vows? Even if you’re writing different vows you might agree on using the same structure or using the same opening or closing sentence.
- Set the tone & timeframe There’s nothing wrong with you sharing romantic and poetic vows followed by your partner’s stand-up routine. But if you want a more cohesive approach, discuss the tone you want your wedding vows to have. Wedding vows can be anything from romantic to sentimental, and funny to practical. Also, think about how long you want your wedding ceremony to be and how long you’re each comfortable speaking for.
- What do you love about your partner? How does he/she make you feel? What makes he/she special? What is it about them that you are thankful for? And what is it about you both that makes you perfect for each other? Write down your answers to all these questions and include any stories that demonstrate or symbolise what you love about your partner.
- Reflect on your relationship. Think about everything that’s happened in your relationship that has brought you to this point on your wedding day. From the first time you met, to falling in love, to knowing you wanted to marry your partner, and any obstacles you’ve had to overcome. Write down the key moments in your relationship that stand out.
- What is “love” and “marriage” to you? Everyone has their own definition of “love” and “marriage” and there is no right or wrong answer. Write down your own definitions. Think about relationships you admire and what features of those relationships you want to apply to your own marriage. Think about how your view of “love” or “marriage” may have changed since meeting your partner.
- Check out the internet and especially Pinterest. There are thousands of examples of vows and wedding promises out there. Note what you like and dislike and make a rough draft Think about having an opening, middle and closing. There are two tried and tested structure options: chronological and sentimental. Chronological vows might start with how you first met, move on to talk about how your relationship has developed, and finish with your promises for your future together. Sentimental vows might start with what marriage means to you, move on to talk about what your love about your partner and what makes you the perfect match, and finish with your marriage promises.
- Use the notes you’ve made earlier to add specific details about you, your partner, your relationship and your story together. Ask yourself what you want to promise your partner and consider what your future goals are. Think about how you compliment each other and how you will work together to create a long and happy marriage.
- Practice makes perfect ! Well mostly…. Get familiar with your words. Nerves are funny things. Even “Hugh Jackman” who learned his vows off by heart for his wedding couldn’t remember them. I can prepare some special Wedding Vow Cards thay you can read from on the day. If you’re not comfortable reading your own vows start to finish on your own, we can do the …. “repeat after me” style vows. On the day, do remember to look into your partners eyes, smile, use a confident voice and don’t rush… pauses are wonderful and can add depth and meaning to your chosen words. This is your special time to share some of the most important words with your partner in your lifetime..
- Remember your wedding vows are all about you. Remember that all of the above is just a guideline and that your wedding vows are special to you and your relationship. While saying your wedding vows you might laugh, you might cry, and you might need to pause and compose yourself, and all of this is totally OK. Enjoy the moment and know that as long as your wedding vows are honest and from the heart, they will be just perfect.
For more great tips & to chat to June Copeman check out her website below:
